After getting
pregnant in her early teens, Farida (not real name) thought that this marked
the end of the world. Fari, as her friends used to call her, couldn’t
think of anything apart from just staying at home, sleep, watch kids play in
the backyard and all sorts of easy things and some slothful activities. The thought
of taking her life did not cross her mind only once but numerous times. Her
fear and stress were mainly triggered by what people will say and what his
father will do to her as he had said several times that he will operate any
girl who will fall pregnant under her parents’ roof.
Time came when Farida
could no longer hide her pregnancy. The
question her parents had was how their daughter could fall pregnant with all
the pieces of advice they bombarded her with day-in-day-out. What went wrong?
Farida grew up in
environment where she could interact with her parents and was able to ask
several questions. The parents were able to explain every phenomena but they
were unable to open up when on issues to do with Sexual Reproductive Health.
While at school the
little girl fell in love with a boy whom at one point in the relationship, the
two had sex. Two months down the line, she did not realise that missing her
periods twice could be a sign of pregnancy. In fact, she was happy that she had
stopped menstruating. Of ourse she was later told by an older friend that is
when she thought it wise to hide the pregnancy until she finds a way out - and
so she thought
Upon noticing the
changes on their daughter, Farida’s parents called her for questioning. The
little girl didn’t know what to say and remained quiet like a book on a library
shelf. Words escaped her and she just kept on looking at her mother’s
bewildered face. They took her to the
hospital for pregnancy test where the parents’ fear was confirmed.
Here is the saddest
part; Farida’s male counterpart who was responsible for the pregnancy decided
to apply a permanent solution to what he thought was spark that will set the
whole world on fire and terminate its existence.
The nurse who did the
examination on her had to counsel the girl. It was in this counselling session
where it was known that the girl did not know that when a girl starts
experiencing monthly periods she can get pregnant once she indulges in
unprotect sex. Little did she also know what safe sex means and the thought
that she could get STIs including HIV through unsafe sex seemed to have never
crossed her mind.
Things turned out
very well for Farida. Her father was properly counselled as well and he
understood the role he had to ensure that Farida’s dreams are rekindled and
achieved. Today, as I am writing this article, Farida is no longer the sad one
you have been seeing in the eye of your mind. She went back to school and her hard
work and dedication paid off and she is able to support her child.
Parents, health care
workers, faith leaders, aunties and uncles, youth workers e.t.c are responsible
for ensuring that young people are given access to age appropriate sexual
reproductive health information. Young people really need that kind of
information for them to make informed decisions. Such people are the first to
blame young girls and boys whenever the boy or girl has faced a sexual
reproductive health challenge. Who should be blamed here? The one who is supposed to provide guidance or the one who
falls into a pit because he or she was not told that there is a pit along the
path?
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