Written By Sarah Clarbour
Consent has been taught to me, both formally and informally for
as long as I can remember, to the extent that it feels like common sense.
"No means No".
This is something I have known since a young age. Consent should
be respected at all times and everyone has the right to not consent to sexual
activity, and that too, should be respected. I have discovered that within
popular belief in Malawi, this is not the case. Consent is an ongoing
global issue which is still being tackled and addressed through different
measures; according to the UN, it is estimated that 35% of women worldwide have
experienced either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or sexual
violence by a non-partner at some point in their lives1.
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| Life skills session at Kaulambwe in TA Fukamalaza |
On Thursday, Team Umoza facilitated a Sex and Sexuality session
in the rural community of Kaulambwe. I spoke to the parents about the
importance of consent: "A wife does not owe her husband sex, and likewise
a husband does not owe his wife sex. Sexual activity should be between
consenting individuals".
This community session was aiming to raise awareness on sex and
sexuality issues and the ways which we can combat them. Within the discussion
section at the end of our presentation, a member of our audience, the head
teacher of the community which we were visiting, stood up and said: "It is
said in the bible: a husband has no authority over his body, but his wife's,
and a wife has no authority over her body, but her husband's". Murmurs in
the crowd showed a clear approval of this. I struggle to understand how one
quote in the bible overrides respect for people, and how this has been
interpreted to justify rape.
Despite our clarifications that non-consensual sexual activity
is rape, which is against the constitution in Malawi, I did not feel that any
understanding or progress had been made. I left the Kaulambwe community feeling
disheartened and despairing about the sessions that we were running. It seemed
that there was not open mindedness where it is needed most.
What was more concerning still, was that our session in Chiole
on the previous day, we were faced with a similar response from a crowd of
women claiming, "it is in our culture that we cannot say no to our
husbands". To know that the problem is so inherently built into the
culture here made me feel like the sessions were useless. Consent has been an
incredibly emotionally straining topic for us throughout our placement so far,
as it repeatedly crops up in the issues that we address for example: child
marriage, rape, and teen pregnancy.
After taking some time to reflect, I spoke to some of our ICVs
(in-country volunteers) to try and understand why these attitudes regarding
consent are so common and how we can alter our approach to best invoke a change
in perception regarding these issues.
Kellina explained to me that most of the adults in the rural
community of Kaulambwe were uneducated. She said that in Malawi education is
changing attitudes for the younger generation and it is a process which takes
time. Her and her peers know that everyone has the right to not give
their consent to sex and that this should, and is respected, however because
the older generation have not had access to formal education, many do not
understand this.
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| HIV and Aids session at Chisila CDSS |
Perhaps then we have to hope that attitude change comes with
younger generations becoming more accepting on social issues. Once again, I am
reminded that change does not happen in a day, and that development is a long
term process. Though this feels incredibly frustrating, it is evident that by
empowering the youths, and educating them on issues which Malawi currently
faces, together we can establish solutions to these and throughout the years
that follow I hope that such attitudes will spread so that socioeconomic
development follows.
Malawi is a beautiful country, with beautiful people, the vast
majority of which are keen to see change and progress towards a fairer, more
open-minded future and I am excited to be a small part of this whilst on my ICS
placement with YONECO.
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